KIM+RUBY

 

 

A million thoughts linger on my mind, a million diseases rather. How could I be so stupid…Ewww I want to throw up.

 

I never in a million years thought I could be so careless.  I deserve a slap don’t I? Ouch that hurt more than I thought, maybe I should get someone to slap me right after I spend a week or more in a bath tub drenched in salt and bleach, so I could wash off the filth from me.

 

Finally, I start a diary waiting by my phone for a call from the NHS, so I’d finally know if to go jump in front of a train or well jump in front of a train. Even if I am not STD infested could I still live with the guilt and filth? I can literally feel germs crawling around my privates.

Screw you Jennifer and Aisha, fuck you Adrienne and Mildred, as for you Nelio, you can go drive a giant hammer up your A-hole. I can’t wait to call those five fucktards and give them a piece of my mind right after I know the consequences of my stupid careless drunken night.

 

Dear diary, as far as I know you are the only friend I have now, I might as well tell you the story, well the parts I was sober enough for.

 

‘Check out that bloke Kim, the one in the beanie hat over there’ Aisha directed my attention toward a gorgeous guy at a far end just as the train came to a halt and our arrival in Newcastle was announced.

 

‘Yo, I’m right here Ashush, seriously?’ Nelio quickly retorted.

 

‘I meant check him out for me dude, insecure much?’ Aisha rolled her eyes at him

 

‘So? Just Hot or banging hot? Which is he?’ she said through clenched teeth as we stepped out of the train unto the platform.

 

‘Definitely banging hot’ I laughed ignoring Nelio’s stabbing eyes on me. Aisha darted off towards the banging hot bloke’s direction before I was even done talking.  She poked him, shook his hand when he turned, then after some lip movements and exchange of smiles they were both typing into their phones after which Aisha casually swayed her hips side to side aware the guy was watching her walk away.

 

My phone started to ring almost immediately, Mildred was calling. Mildred and Adrienne we're already in Newcastle, they decided to come earlier to visit someone they both knew and then meet us at Perdu, the ACS party was going to be banging tonight, swarming with darks of every shade ready for the pickings.

 

‘Hello daarrrrrlling’ her words slurred

 

‘Millie are you drunk already, it's just 9:35’

 

‘No honey, I am definitely not drunk but high very very high that. Is. What. I. am’

 

‘You not ditching the party, are you?’ I questioned

 

‘Ahhh no baby, I am not that high’

 

‘Where arrreee you? You will meet us at the party yeah? I hear there will be loads of fiiinnnne men there, men Kimmy not boys’ she laughed

 

‘Nelio is here with me, we are just getting a taxi to the club now’ I replied, hinting I would not be able to partake in the hunt for the said fine men.

 

‘Nelio? Why is he with you? Gosh now you will be no fun to be around’

 

‘Says who? I will be plenty of fun I promise, will call you when we are outside the club’

 

‘Right, okay tell Aisha I saw that guy she used to have a crush on, I gather he will be coming to the partttty’ she laughed and ended the call.

 

I thought to leave it as a surprise because last she heard, the guy had relocated to America and she painfully had to let her crush for him fade away.  Sincerely I  hoped she would not see him, re-awakening that feeling she had for him was not something I looked forward to as I was the one who had to sit through her gushing about him every minute of the day.

 

We found a blueline taxi parked in front of the train station and Aisha hurried to it dragging me with her and I dragged my boyfriend with my free hand. She quickly opened the front passenger door and stepped in nudging Nelio and I to the back.

 

‘You are finally here, I called severally, they kept saying you were here, you were here but I couldn’t find you and I have been freezing out here with my friend, luckily my friend has her boy’s arms around her so I am the one who’s been suffering’ she blurted out to the confused looking Indian cab driver.

 

‘C’mon start the car, we are late and oh we changed our mind about where we are going, take us to Perdu instead, Perdu at Collingwood’ she added

 

‘That’s where you are already booked to go’ the man said

 

‘Oh, Kim you booked for Perdu? I thought you said Tiger Tiger’

 

‘No its Perdu, you couldn’t have heard right while screaming on the phone now could you?’ we both laughed.

 

We definitely sounded so convincing because the cab man drove off immediately, either that or he just could not be bothered, whatever his reason was it didn’t matter  really, we had just successfully stolen someone else’s cab and on our way to a long awaited and probably over hyped party. Relaxed into her chair without her seat belt on when we pulled into Collingwood Street Aisha put down the front mirror and while reapplying her lipstick she caught my eyes through the mirror, blew a kiss and winked at me.

 

The cab pulled behind a queue of taxis outside Perdu and before it could halt completely Aisha hopped out like her pointy ass was on fire.

 

‘Over here girls’ I heard a familiar squeaky voice from the front of the club, Adrienne Manuel. Her sequined dress was as loud as her voice I noticed as Nelio clutched my hands, inviting me to lean into him. I smiled and kissed his arm holding tightly while we made our way to the club entrance.

Jennifer, Adrienne and Mildred somehow seemed to be besties already with the bouncers so we jumped the queue to the dissatisfaction of many but who cared, it was supposed to be a perfect night. It was an ACS party so champagne bottles popped at every corner. Every boy wanted to impress especially our very dear Nigerian boys who always had more than enough money to throw around. Yeah I hate rich kids, always so posy with no idea how hard their parents worked for them bottles they popping carelessly to impress girls who would not even give them the time of day. Nelio bought me and my girls two bottles of champagne, yeah he is one of them rich kids I hate.

 

Millie dragged me up to dance with her, Aisha, Jennifer and Adrienne followed suit and with us dancing like a bunch of horny lesbians, we had the attention of all the guys around and when I looked back, the only guy whom I really wanted his attention was looking another way. I followed the direction of his eyes and it seemed to settle on some skinny white girl in a trashy blue dress. I tried to ignore his wondering eyes, we were both allowed to check other people out as long as we didn’t do anything else about it. That’s where the problem began, seemed I was the only one following that rule. I followed Aisha to the bar because she wanted some tequila shots and when we got back, Nelio was nowhere to be found. He was no slave so I ignored his absence and danced on with my girls wondering why I even came with him in the first place and as I tried to lose myself in the music, I felt a tap on my shoulder, it was Mildred and she was laughing so loud, obviously drunk.

 

‘Isn’t that Nelio over there?’ she yelled

 

Following where she was pointing, I could see nothing, thanks to my short sight anything five feet or more from me was always a blur. I followed the direction of her finger guilty I had left him by himself to be with the girls, I was going to spend the rest of the night dancing with just him. As I got closer to where Mildred pointed my guilt began to disappear and all I could feel was fury because my dearly beloved whom I felt guilty for ignoring had his hands all over skanky blue dressed white bitch, a skinny white girl? Really Nelio? Whatever happened to having a type? I thought of just walking away because the way I felt, I could have slapped some color into the skinny thing but how could I walk away now, the bitch was kissing my boyfriend and he was kissing her back.

 

I screamed his name before I realized it and he seemed to freeze, then he shoved the girl away and walked up to me. I had tears of rage streaming down my face, I was not hurt, I was not sad, I was just plain mad. His hand tried to hold my arm and I hit it before making my way out of the club with him behind me. Outside the club, away from all the music and ACS craze, he was trying to apologize with the most annoying excuse in the book, ‘I didn’t kiss her she kissed me’ and nigga you were damn well kissing back till I called your lying ass.

 

He screamed my name as I kept walking and I warned him not to follow me, ‘if you ever want me to speak to you again, just let me be for now’ I said. Of course I didn’t mean it, I wanted him to chase after me, show me how sorry he was but the dumb prick stood there and only screamed my name as I walked away. When will men realize that when a woman loves you, when she says ‘leave me alone’, it is a desperate plea for you to try hold her close and pamper her till she is alright.

 

I strolled down a few blocks and came upon another club. The file of men in the queue was interesting enough to make me stand in the line, I was going to have my own pound of flesh, if I was going to forgive him I had to pay him back, kiss a skinny white dude and we call it a day. After what seemed like forever on the queue but was probably ten minutes I got in the club, my phone kept buzzing but I was too mad to even look at my screen, the son of a b did it again, how dare he kiss a girl in the club again while am in the same club, that left me wondering what exactly he did when I was not there. The banging house music in the club disrupted my thoughts and the flow of men? I was impressed.

I had not had a single drink the whole night because the only other thing I hate more than the smell of booze is the smell of diesel. I went by the bar however, I needed to clear my head, maybe force two shots of tequila down my throat and get a little woozy, a little happy. Couple of guys came and bought me drinks and in another ten minutes I had downed more than five shots of tequila, then I did vodka and gin, yeah I was more than happy, I was ecstatic.

 

No matter how hard I tried, I could not remember what happened after the gin. All I remember is that I woke up, it was bright and I was naked, in bed with a tattoo covered skinny white dude. What the fuck did I do? I wanted to wake him to explain himself but felt it better to grab my scrunched up dress from the side of the bed, dress up and make a run for it. Luckily I found my purse next to my dress with all my things intact and in the next hour I was on a train back to Leeds. The image of the guy and his ghetto surrounding made my stomach twirl, like what was a white dude doing in such a neighborhood? I took a cab straight from the train station to the medical center and luckily I could see a doctor who examined me. Yes traces of sperm were found in my vagina indicating intercourse and yes the sleezebag did not wear a condom. Kim! Kim!  How did you even get yourself to such a low point? OMG, where were my girls to slap some sense into me? I scurried into Super drugs in my high heels and inappropriate dress, ignoring all the disapproving stares I got from mothers with little kids. I got morning after pills and headed home to wait for the call of doom.

 

I finally had the urge to take out my phone so I could call idiots that were supposed to be my friends and let them have an earful, of course no one had to know about tattooed white dude. I had had more than the pound of flesh I intended, but even though I was way past even with Nelio, he would have to beg his ass off to ever call me his again.

 

After I checked my phone and found out my friends were still in Newcastle looking for me, Nelio Included. I had over 100 missed calls from them and thirty two messages, fifteen of them from Nelio so I called them to say I was back in Leeds and would explain once I saw them. That gave me enough time to come up with a lie. .

 

 

So this is me sitting by my phone one week later waiting for a call from NHS to be told I got AIDS or some nasty STD…. I had still not forgiven Nelio, I had to know if I was infected or not and then maybe I could come around to forgive him, after all it was all his fault or maybe not but since I felt better when I blamed him for it, it was and is definitely his fault…

So I just got the call and ermmmm…  I AM CLEAN!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!! I have no disease!!!

I just did a happy dance around my room in case you are wondering. Finally I can actually continue to live my life and hope for the guilt to slowly fade away and maybe it is time to call Nelio, haha my phone just beeped, must be another text from him. I would hold this over his head for a very long time.

FUCK! HOW? WHO? WTF! I just got a picture text from a number I do not know.

 

‘HEY GIRL, SEE YOU HAD FUN LAST NIGHT’ and the picture is me and tattooed white dude entangled in a deep kiss on a couch with his hand creeping under my dress.

 

FUCK MY LIFE!